Sixty-nine college professors, all seven surviving First Ladies, 57 surviving mistresses and 2,397 prostitutes were interviewed for this study (and that was just for Bill Clinton!).
By all accounts, Calvin Coolidge was a lousy lay. Described as lovingly reserved by his own wife, "Celibate Cal" made up for his lack of skill in the bedroom with his sophisticated wit. Once, at a White House gathering, Dorothy Parker bet she could make the president say more than three words at dinner. The always taciturn Coolidge replied, "You win, you ugly, big-nosed bitch."
Richard Nixon did not get the nickname "Tricky Dick" because he was a dirty, lying, sleazy scumbag of a petty crook that would sell his own Quaker mother into white slavery for a chance to chair the Senate Ways and Means Committee. Oh wait, yes he did.
The only trick this Dick pulled in the bedroom was paying a Secret Service agent known only as "The Carpet Muncher" to service his grateful wife, Pat.
A former Union general, Rutherford B. Hayes was a man of quick, decisive action with an extremely long recovery time.
Second Worst - George W. Bush - "I'm very, very Imp-otent"
The current president, George W. Bush, was a major league player during his college and draft dodging days. However, his wife Laura conceds that her bush hasn't enjoyed little Georgie in many years. Bush has been impotent since 1986 when he gave up drinking hard liquor, snorting cocaine and eating sterno.
The Worst- Warren G. Harding- "Warren G. Hardly Ever "
The Teapot Dome Scandal is often used to illustrate his failings. In 1922, a drunk Harding was found by the press in a small cabin in Wyoming with Clara Bow, two underaged mexican girls and a mule -- fully clothed and playing poker. The mule was winning big.
William Howard Taft - "The Cincinnati Shaft "
Weighing in at over 340 pounds, William Howard Taft was blessed with the largest presidential penis. Affectionately nicknamed the Cincinnati Shaft, the penis was one of the most beloved presidential appendages. It is housed in the same glass case at the Smithsonian as George Washington's wooden teeth, LBJ's gall bladder and George W. Bush's libido.
James Buchanan, the only bachelor president, shared a bed with a man for 16 years -- not an uncommon practice for pennyless wanderers of the time. Buchanan often described his live-in companion, William Rufus King, as his better half --again, not unusual among the socially elite of 19th century America. The president would also squeal with delight whenever his "Miss Nancy" entered a room and once was so put off when he caught his "Aunt Fancy" flirting with a young page that he sprang from his divan, spilling his Cosmo all over his pantywaists and his signed copy of the Dred Scott Decision. Okay, I give up, the the guy was pretty gay.
Did you ever wonder how a blueblood, born in New Haven, Connecticut, graduate (barely) of Phillips Academy of Andover, Massachusetts, Yale and Harvard, born to one of the richest families to ever come over in the Mayflower became obsessed with being a cowboy?
A recent Freedom of Information Act request has revealed the the President spent 3 years in the early eighties touring the country as a member of The Macho Men-- not the Village People, but an incredible simultation and the third next best thing.