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ASS-P Home > Features > Supplies > Getting Out of Buying Assessing Used Textbooks for Suitability
Textbooks cost money. Lots of money. Removing a worn or defaced textbook from circulation is one of the few decisions a principal has to make. Here are some guidelines.

Conventional defacement of school textbooks can often be ignored. In the example presented here, the subject matter is still understandable to the average student. The fact that George Washington is depicted as farting in the general direction of the Delaware River is only slightly distracting. Book stays in circulation.
| Drawing of External Gentalia on Famous Americans | | |

The first example shows a very common defacement of school property, the drawing of a penis on George Washington. The rendering (see close-up of the area of interest) is a fairly accurate depiction of a flaccid, circumsized penis drawn reasonably close to scale. The average student may not even notice that this was added post-publishing. If asked, the teacher could simply comment that it was not unusual during the colonial period for soldiers to light up a smoke while their penis waved in the breeze. Book stays in circulation.
The next example is more problematic. It appears that George Washington is "getting a hummer," (in the current vernacular of our student population) from his horse. The drawing (see close-up of the area of interest) is quite crude and poorly done. How could George Washington even ride his horse with a penis that was this large? And while horse beastiality was not unheard of in Washington's day, the idea that the father of our country would put his penis in a horse's mouth is unthinkable. Why the horse would be more likely to bite it off than to give it the gentle attention necessary to achieve orgasm. Book stays in circulation with offending page ripped out. If the kid doesn't know what George Washington looks like by now, too bad.

 The incorrigible student that is semi-literate but with limited artistic talent is forced to write disgusting things in his textbook or, lacking any imagination, finding words in the text that are amusing. Just open any history text to the chapter pertaining to John Hancock. The amazing thing about the example provided here is that the picture of John Hancock has escaped abuse. Look at those fairy legs! What a pantywaist! Book stays in circulation.
| Comments About Faculty or Staff | | |
The next case study is a typical textbook page after three or four years of service. It appears to be the result of the work of a succession of owner/artists. Mr. "Red Ink" has turned mother into motherfucker, and decided that Thomas Jefferson would look better with a Mohawk and glasses and that he was a member of the Nazi Party (which is highly unlikely, the Klan perhaps, but not the National Socialists). He also has added homoerotic dialog to the signing of the Declaration of Independence, another unlikely but not impossible suggestion. A second student has sketched in the naked torso and pelvis region of Jefferson mid-bowel movement. Yet another contributor has highlighted the words in the text suggestive of sex or illicit drug use. All of these are common examples of textbook desecration, but certainly not severe enough to warrant the removal of a good book from circulation. The main problem with this page may be the statement: "Mrs. Katz has big pillows!" Is there still a Mrs. Katz on staff? Does she have big pillows? Book stays in circulation.

The important question to ask about this example is, are you the Mr. Katz being referred to by the possibly slanderous statement? Yes? This book must be removed from circulation immediately! The Mr. Katz in question teaches art, woodshop or is actually Ms. Katz who teaches gym? Who are you to delve into the sexual orientation of your faculty and staff. Book stays in circulation.
| Dark or Inappropriate Humor | | |

While portraying "ouch" as Lincoln's last word, and having his grieving wife yell "Get a Band-Aid" are funny, they are also in bad taste. But is bad taste reason enough for replacing a perfectly fine history text? Book stays in circulation.
 This depiction of President Abe Lincoln splitting Harriet Tubman like Lincoln split logs may be considered racial stereotyping in today's liberal climate. While there is no hard evidence that these two historic figures ever paved an underground railroad tunnel, why not? Good enough for George and Thomas, good enough for Honest Abe! Book stays in circulation.
| Math Books and Other Stuff | | |
When Ms. Malloy first complained about this geometry diagram, I could not understand her problem. I'm a principal, not a math teacher! After several hours in my office, with the thermostat set at 120°F, Ms. Malloy was soaked to the skin (and what delightful skin it is!) and I came to the realization that all she needs is a good man. Book stays in circulation.
Next week there will be more examples and maybe a pop quiz. People, people, did you think I forgot your homework? Read pages 124-227 in your text and write a 100 word summary.
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