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RetroCrush Skrodahl CFUS mortysTworld fark iloveBacon BobFromAccounting CockEyed X-E PaulKatcher.com |
 
You are out of your mind if you don't shop at Crazy Don's SUV World! I'm proud to present the new line of Sport Utility Vehicles from the General Motors GM Defense Group. The Jeep scouted out the territory and then the Hummer proved that there is no limit to your stupidity. So buckle up - but be prepared to be blown out of your seats! 
Four wheel drive is for moms whose kids are pasty-faced losers. Today's soccer mom needs at least 8 wheels to make sure dinner's on the table by 5 PM! The Stryker delivers - the groceries!!!
Let's get serious for a moment. Are you still measuring in Miles per Gallon? Real men with large members know that Gallons per Mile is the only way to travel. The M1A1 Abrams 2 is all new in 2004 and uses a penil-enhancing 8 gallons a mile. Gas is gonna be dirt cheap as soon as my boys at Halliburton get busy in Basra, so stop being a pansy and come on down!
 
At Crazy Don's SUV World, we crush the competition - literally. And then we put a couple of rounds of depleted uranium where the sun don't shine.   Here's Mrs. Cheryl Smith of Crabapple Cove, Maine taking on the whole team...no minivan could handle that crowd! The new 2004 Bradley Fighting Vehicle LX with tundra gray exterior has room to spare. And it comes packed with MRE's for after practice treats.
   
Crazy Don ain't racist - he's all inclusive! What better way to tell whitey you belong in the neighborhood than parking a classic combat green Bradley Fighting Vehicle next to your pink Cadillac? But Crazy Don don't offer credit - I'm crazy but not THAT crazy!
I can't walk under a normal SUV - they hit me here, but these models... they got Secretary of Defense-type clearance!
Look folks...if my lips ain't moving, I ain't lying, so you can trust me on these deals, just like on those weapons o' mass destruction over there in Iraq!
  Now through Sunday, if you buy any real SUV at Crazy Don's SUV World, we'll throw in a light water nuclear reactor at no extra charge. Remember, at Crazy Don's SUV World the prices are insane!
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