Our Newest Rides for Kidz of All Ages

Titanic Slide!

When the H.M.S. Titanic sunk, over a thousand men, women and children perished in the icy waters of the North Atlantic. Sad, but that's no reason not to make a children's ride out of it. Johnny's party will be the best on the block with the rental of this 25 foot inflatable slide. The kids will love trying to avoid the smokestacks as they slide towards certain death. After the party, you and the missus can pretend you're Leonardo as you bang her on the poop deck.

Susan Smith Dunk Tank!

We've added a North Carolina twist to the usual dunk tank. Put three kids in this mock up of a station wagon, hit the target, and let the hijinks unfold. Guaranteed laughs as the kids scramble for windows. Need an added challenge? Buy the matching child car seats. Still not enough? Pay another five dollars for the power windows.

Auschwitz Moon Walk!

Put a self adhesive yellow star on your kids, take off their shoes and other jewelry (fillings if your ambitious), and let them bounce to their hearts content in this 10' by 10' moon walk. When the ride is full (capacity 10 children, 15 if malnourished for months), toss our patented Zylkon B tablets into the mouth of the clown and watch the laughs begin. You should see the kids in the center of the ride fall first, then those on the perimeter will stumble over their bodies looking for the exit. But the joke's on them! You've zipped it closed!

Ecuadoran Village Mud Slide!

Mix a slip-and-slide, some sewage-contaminated soil, and low quality third world building materials and what do you have? Good old fashioned fun. Watch as the kids slide through the debris, grasping at tree limbs and simulated bloated corpses as they struggle to keep afloat. As an added bonus the end of the slide includes a Red Cross relief center with morgue and body bags.

Pin the Hindenberg on the Mooring Post!

Kids of all ages enjoy trying to dock this genuine Hydrogen-filled replica. And the whole party will "explode" with fun as it bursts into flames on impact. Watch the kiddies run for cover (see which kids know about "drop and roll" as a bonus). The first Mom to yell "Oh the Humanity!" gets the door prize.

The Arnolds Wedding Night!

There's nothing more horrific for a child than re-enacting the wedding night of Tom Arnold and Roseanne Barr.

Carbon Monoxide Playhouse!

Who doesn't smile at the rosy cheeked glow of a family of four poisoned by carbon monoxide in their sleep? Well now your children can share in the fun with this playhouse that includes a flexible hose that attachs to the exhaust pipe of the family car. Watch as they innocently make "mud pies" and then lay down to take naps. A timer is included to avoid permanently disabling brain injuries, but a canister of oxygen must be purchased separately.

Clowns and Facepainting!

What's a party without a clown? Charlie "Chuckles" Manson is on a work release program and we got him. Imagine the delight in your youngsters's eyes when Charlie gets through with them!


This bit was STOLEN from the Opie and Anthony Radio Show!

KraZy LiNkS
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You: Uncle, you've gone too damn far. This is sick and outrageous.

UM: Come again?

You: You make fun of horrific disasters, historical nightmares, children dying! Do you have no compassion?

UM: Ahem. Can you spell satire? Probably not. The first rental (the Titanic slide) is real. We're poking fun at the fact that people will commercialize anything, no matter how sad or morbid. The only question is how sad and when did it occur.

You: Yeah, but Susan Smith? The Holocaust?

UM: How fast did the Lesbian Network, wait, no, it was Lifetime, make a TV movie staring the fat blonde from Designing Women as the divine Ms. Smith? You think they did that to inform the public? No. They made it to make money off of the commercials. You don't think Spielberg had meetings with studio exectives to determine the rate of return on Schlinder's List? All we're doing is taking that to the extreme, only in the name of making fun of those that refuse to see this exploitation for what it is. Thank God for us and thank God for America!

You: You guys are sick. Hey, how come no titties in this bit?

UM: Check out 20/20 tonight on ABC - they have teenage runaways turned street walkers. I set my VCR. They show a lot of fur vests and legs with stilleto heels, but its all about the news.




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