A Classic Bit The little princess has improved her life with the magic of today's wonder drugs! Snow White and the Medicated Dwarves

Knocked Up by a Juno Movies I Would Pay to See Just one word, condom. Ok, twelve words, "Sweetie, if you want some of this pussy, put on a condom."

SPOTLIGHT on Blogspot Diablo Cody's Pussy Ranch. I visit regularly. Find the movie scenes that get her hot.

Some bits that appeared at National Lampoon Dick Cheney's New Year's Resolutions Beef Consumé with White Truffle Oil for the Soul: The Collected Wisdom of Barbara Bush Eighteen Magazine's Guide to the Prom New York City Teddy Bear Company				Worst Presidents Ever... in Bed From Honest Abe to Dishonest Bush, the secret lives of our most beloved presidents. The Hot MILFs of Network TV The hot moms of family sitcoms and the loser husbands they have to pretend to like. The Secret Diary of Joanne Goodall Jane's younger sister reveals what she did during her summer vacation. Dead Pope Bit Courtesy of Fox News and Monty Python. Hockey's back. It's time to play: Canadian or Lesbian? Neve Campbell and Jill Hennessey team up to assist us. The last time I played with these two, I got called for holding, roughing and a 10 minute misconduct, and that was in the locker room! Screwby Do Me Do! The Scooby Doo Porn Movie The real story about the gang getting together to make a reunion porn movie. Snow Peeing! A Winter Classic! The bit that almost got us a primetime special on Fox... Search Engine Keywords IV Actual keywords that someone typed into a search engine in order to find Uncle Melon. Includes The Jennifer Lopez Butt Game, Hitler Comics and clean shaven mexican women! Valentine's Day Special Get your guy something he really wants at the The Vermont BJ Company Politically Incorrect Team Names New and improved! We took out most of the typos and added a drunken dwarf. Drunken dwarf not enough for you? How about some injuns? We got Chief Knockahoma and Mahatma! now you've really gone too Far Side What if the guy who created the Far Side was a sick fuck like Uncle Melon? ... And Disney Created Woman Disney's Babes vs. Disney's Babes Can human flesh compare to acetate? You decide. Uncle Melon's Golden Guide to the Seashore A naturalist's guide to bearded clams, Coney Island whitefish and sun-baked, greased up, almost naked babes!
How to Eat Pussy Haven't got a clue? All the mysteries revealed! We guarantee earth shattering orgasms in as little as 3 weeks! Special guest star, Carmen Electra. How to Pick Up a Really Hot Babe Years of exhaustive fieldwork have been distilled into 5 surefire steps to seduction success. Starring, Mindy Vega!!! My Paris Hilton Sex Tape It turns out that last summer our Art Director, Bob Melonosky, got it on with Paris Hilton and her sister... and made his own Secret Paris Hilton Sex Tape. How to Use a Vagina And for all our female fans, a special bonus: How to Use a Penis at no extra charge. Oh wait, we have no female fans. All that work for nothing. Google Image Search Engine Is Google the greatest porn site in cyberspace? We asked Mom and got some surprising results. How UncleMelon and Fark Changed Google! Where has all the porno gone? Google's moms have put back on their clothes and stopped riding the bang bus. How to Bang Just About Any Object In Your House Not everyone can afford $6,999 for a real doll, so I've put together a guide to reasonable alternatives you can find around the house. Radio Friendly Porn Review Get your mules out boys! It's time to F the C with your Z. Kama Sutra Snowman New and Improved! For today's snowman, an illustrated dictionary of sexual positions. Now with more Paris Hilton!! Paris Hilton makes everything more better! Best of 2003 Top Ten Babes I Banged in 2003 Back by popular demand! I don't kiss and tell but if you let me get past firstbase - you are in trouble. The Virtual Sploogenator We continue our celebration of Playboy's 50 years with interactive centerfold cyber-cranking. Playboy's 50th! Celebrate 50 years and 50 billion gallons of banana juice.		John Bolton's ABCs The U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations teaches our children the alphabet. Hide your kids and lock away grandma! A George W. Bush Christmas Carol Christmas eve is a nightmare when Georgie is visited by a bunch of spooks!!   Mail-Order Iraqi Brides You've tried the rest, now marry the best!!! Everything you want in a woman at affordable prices! The Official George W. Bush Presidential Library Website What has huge knockers and the intellectual capacity of a peanut? No, not her, it's the George W. Bush Presidential Library! Crazy Don's SUV WORLD Real SUVs for Real Men We're No.1! Wanna smell my finger? the SmokingMelon Freedom fries are only the beginning. The US Congress won't stop until France surrenders. An Iraqi Christmas Pageant or the Gospel According to Melon A very, traditional pageant starring Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and Dick Cheney! Survivor: Baghdad We kept waiting... and waiting... for someone else to do it. Tasteless and politically incorrect. Support the troops by not visiting. Four Fantasies of George W. Bush You'd have some good fantasies too if you were always goofing off on vacation or could daydream all day at work. Sort of a homage rip off of an old National Lampoon bit.