How Unclemelon.com and Fark.com Changed Google.com

What's Fark Got To Do With It?

UncleMelon.com is the 1,657,430th most popular site on the web (as ranked by Alexa.com). This ties us with JessyWantsaPony.geocities.com and FunWithForaminifera.smu.edu. We could write a bit featuring exclusive photos of a gay male prostitute sharpening his pencil in Karl Rove and no one would visit but our only true fan foxyvickie1115. But back on January 24, 2005, our google bit got "farked" resulting in over 70,000 visitors. One of those farkers must have tipped off the guys at Google.

Additional Evidence

Two additional searches were mentioned in the article, "dad daughter" and "pearl necklace." Back in January, searching on "dad daughter" resulted in some of the most disturbing images I have ever seen, and I watch Oprah daily because the attendants love that show. They also love Frank's Hot Sauce but thats another story. Hey, where are my meds!?! Now when you search on "dad daughter" all you get is wholesome pictures of dads and their daughters! The same story with pearl necklaces; nothing put pearls! Did we brake Google?

Where Has All the Porno Gone?

So has Google cleaned up their algorithms and gotten out of the porn business? Before you remove Google from your bookmarks, rest assured there is still plenty of porn to be found. The other day I needed a photo of a guy praying to Mecca. After many failed attempts with various combinations of the words, prayer, Mecca, etc., I tried the word "kneel." Hallelujah, praise the Eternal!

	Apparently clothing is optional at this alternative life style resort.
	A cross-dressing nun and a layperson with anger management problems not praying to Mecca.
	That's a nice bass she's reeling in.
	Leapfroging at Buchenwald.
	Boo? Boo-kake!
	"Doggie position! Good dog, good dog."
	If this is your picture, please e-mail me immediately. I want to share my life with you and a large amount of money I'm expecting anyday now from Nigeria.
	A Hawaiian bowling shirt. Did you know that I was once mistaken for late, great Earl Anthony at a flea market in Poughkeepsie, NY?

Is The End of Google Nigh?

Every morning when I awake I race to my computer and run a Google Image Search on "cream pie." Google's results fill my screen, I rub one out and go back to bed - satiated, comfortable in the knowledge that all is right with the world.

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	Unfortunately, the most attractive part of today's number 1 cream pie is Oscar Gamble.
	This butt reminds me that I must clean off my keyboard before the wife heads over to LaneBryant.com to check out their spring collection.
	Did I mention that I look a little like Earl Anthony on a bender?
	This photo was called "bananacreampie.jpg" before I added the bananas. You can't make this shit up people.
	Apparently this young lass went to bartender's school - she knows to mix the cream in her rectum before pouring it over ice to make a 'Jizz n' Tonic'
	This butt looks strangely familiar.
	This picture reminds me of the time I walked into my parents bedroom, turned on their TV, and masturbated to an unusually racy episode of The Golden Girls.
	Rachel Ray says you can get that swirly pattern in your cream pie by dragging a knife through the ejaculate. Don't go overboard or the pattern will be lost and you'll end up with just lighter colored poop. That's a real pie? No effing way.

Censoring these search results required 1 Oscar Gamble, 1 bowling ball (believe me her three holes were not filled with fingers), 3 bananas, a balloon knot, 1 pearl necklace and a Robert Downey (it was scary and sad). Note: The "kneel" and "cream pie" searches were completed on February 23, 2005 with SafeSearch off.