Robert Blake: The Bitter Artist Behind the Headlines
Don't do the Crime if you can't do the Time
With all the bad press surrounding Robert Blake, Uncle Melon thought it appropriate to focus on the artist and his work. The guy was Baretta! The star of one of the favorite shows from my youth.
Baretta 96G Elite 9mm Gun
Baretta - the tough, break all the rules cop
Robert "Bobby" Blake - Child Star
Robert Blake was born on September 18, 1933 in Nutley, New Jersey and was named Michael James Vijencio Gubitosi by his poor, immigrant Irish parents. Michael "No Pubes" Gubitosi got his first acting job at the age of 2. More work followed but a bitter Michael soon realized that the only roles he could land were playing gangsters, hoods and bookies.
Little Known Fact: Blake created the Baretta character while at the Groundlings, an LA improvisational group. The bird was just an egg.
The young boy changed his name to Robert Blake and immediately got the role of Mickey on the Little Rascals. These were the lean Our Gang years sometimes refered to as the "Froggy Years." (Sort of like Saturday Night Live after Belushi, Akroyd, Bill Murray and Eddie Murphy died.) Spanky and Buckwheat were still around but Spanky had to shave three times a day and Buckwheat often had the D.T.'s.
The Froggy Years
As Bobby would write in his autobiography, to the horror of all, Spanky's fully mature man JUNK would often hang down below his short pants!
A bitter Bobby left the Little Rascals and spent the next 30 years making feature films from the Treasure of the Sierra Madre to In Cold Blood.
Robert Blake - Child-Sized Star
In the early 70's, Robert Blake starred in the groundbreaking TV series Baretta.
After wearing the same hat for 30 years, it was rumored that Robert had really bad hat hair
A bitter Blake would later write that working with Fred was for the birds.
Tony Baretta was an unconventional, streetwise cop. Kind of like Dirty Harry only short, dirty and from New Jersey. Tony lived in an abandoned hotel with his bird Fred. Us kids loved him because he always wore t-shirts and jeans not suits and ties like Mannix, Kojak and Columbo. Tony didn't just break the rules he was illiterate and couldn't read them. He was a master of disguise (as long as the character was short, dirty and from New Jersey) and was able to infiltrate motorcycle gangs, the mob and even auto body shops.
While Tony refused to have a partner, he did rely on that 1970's mainstay, the colorful, flamboyant pimp/informant. As a kid growing up on Long Island, if I had ever found myself lost in Harlem in the mid-70's. I would have walked up to the first big hat, platform shoe wearing huggybear pimp and gotten my throat cut. There were no Rooster photos to steal on the internet so here is a photo of the actor that portrayed Rooster - Michael D. Roberts.
Can you guess which actor portrayed the pimp?Point with your mouse!
Blake won an Emmy, a Golden Globe and three People's Choice Awards for Baretta but still he was bitter. He felt he deserved more. He knew he belonged on the big screen.
Robert Blake - The Really Bitter Years
After Baretta, opportunities were few and far between. Blake had two standout performances as Jimmy Hoffa and the family murdering John List. Blake was a frequent guest on the Tonight Show hosted by Johnny Carson. His bitter memories of everything he'd done in show business were always entertaining.
Two business decisions he made during this time would always leave a bitter taste in his mouth.
Robert Blake was the studios first choice to play the godfather character - Don Vito Corleone. When the director, Francis Ford Coppola, asked Blake to accept the role, Blake told him to kiss off. Our highly skilled staff of artists (Slug Boy Jay) have created a facsimile of Blake as the godfather.
"Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day, accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day and you can take that to the bank, Rooster."
Bitter as Blake may have been about the Corleone role, his next refusal haunts him to this day. He was the first choice of Eveready battery to be the tough Eveready battery guy who dares you to knock the battery of his shoulder. Here's a rare photo from the original campaign. After he gave them the bird, Eveready settled for another mean Robert, Robert Conrad.
Robert Blake - Child-Like Summary
Whereas the public can try and rate the killing of Blake's wife on the OJ-Hartman scale (0 being poor Phil Hartman who's wife killed him BEFORE he could kill her and 10 being OJ - killing his wife, letting everyone know, and walking away free), let's let a jury of Robert's peers evaluate Blake.
A Jury of Robert Blake's Peers
Use your mouse to inteview the jury
That's enough. This is the longest UncleMelon bit ever.
Bitter as Blake may have been about the Corleone role, his next refusal haunts him to this day. He was the first choice of Eveready battery to be the tough Eveready battery guy who dares you to knock the battery of his shoulder. Here's a rare photo from the original campaign. After he gave them the bird, Eveready settled for another mean Robert, Robert Conrad.
